This is my first post and I thought of blogging about the recently concluded TamilNadu Assembly elections would be just the right beginning. As soon as I think about this election, immediately my attention goes to 'The Hero' (according to P Chidambaram) - the DMK election manifesto! Some of the important schemes annonced in 'The Hero' and how they would change the life of an ordinary person - here you go!
I have tried to connect only the relevant promises and not all of them.
(1) I will get rice for Rs.2/Kg – that too of good quality. So naturally I own a rationcard and I will not be a fool to buy rice from a good shop for about Rs.15 and above. So what will happen to that business & people doing that business? Who cares – my money saved!!
(2) Free color TV and if required free cable connection. Great. Let us all sell our old TVs so that they can be bought at cheap rates by government and re-circulated – why to go for china for this? What do I get? I get money from my old TV and Govt gets to fulfill its vision! And it is a vicious cycle. Money rotation!
(3) Free Gas Stove – Ok great. A stove without gas connection will not be useful. So I can sell and make some money out of it.
(4) Rs.15000/- per marriage – WoW! A dowri from government! Great way to eradicate this Dowri problem in India! And will I also be eligible for this when I marry more than once? If yes, this is a fantastic minority friendly scheme! All I need to say is 3 words after 3 months! And I am free to get the next 15K! If I am a Hindu, hard luck- I need to ‘work’ to get second, third time married! But given that the government expects me to do nothing else, I am sure to invest my time to this!
(5) And what after marriage – ofcourse getting pregnant! What else job do I have? For 6 months I will get 1000 Rs.! Step back – Did we expect the government to propagate about ‘one family – no/one child’ among the rural poor?? That is not what people want – you are wrong. So now the government will entertain and reward people for becoming pregnant! Great!!! Every year, for 6 months I can earn 1000 bucks for doing nothing (I mean only one thing).
(6) And for youth without job – Government will give upto Rs.300/Month. WoW! Rewarding for laziness! Great!! Anyway, I can be idle and do 4 & 5 full time. This is my favorite!
(7) And If I live at a rural place, as a youth I will get free computer training!
(8) Then here comes the Jackpot! I need to declare myself as a farmer without land. The government will give me 2 acres of land free!! Wow!
(9) Once I declare myself as a farmer, the first thing I can take is a loan from the cooperative society Bank! The government will anyway waive it! Great! Free money! No questions!!
(10) Once I become a farmer, I get free power! Great! Free Power for my house and for my motor and for my etc…Wow! And as second choice, I can also opt to declare myself as weaver to get this benefit (but then I will missout on 8 & 9 -- not so good)
(11) And if I fail to gain all these, the government has promised to fulfill 3laks jobs at the government offices immediately. How will they fulfill - go to 12.
(12) Beyond all this I have a central government which will ensure that I will qualify to some kind of reservation as long as I am not a Brahmin! So someway or the other I will get education (no need to study), medical seat (no need to score top marks), and if all goes well a good job at a good private institution (no merit required)!
Looking all these, I believe I am fortunate enough to be born and live inTamilnadu. Now sky is the limit for being idle! This is my pet government! I mean I love it!
These are the things that will drive India through the next 5 years. And these are the things for which we voted for! Now an open challenge to other states of India - Can you match us?
And some years back, I heard somebody blabbering about vision 2020! (Is that APJ Kalam?). Poor soul!! May his dreams be dreams and RIP.
God Save TamilNadu!